Category: Self-Confidence

How to Have Self Confidence

by Spencer Alessi

I can really see this Podcast, my Website, my Personal Brand being my vehicle to HELP people. Which is such a deeply rooted mission of mine. I want to make it clear that I’m not a psychologist and I’m not an expert in human condition I can only tell you what has and is working for me. One thing I am really fascinated about is self-confidence, how you get it and how you foster it. I had a conversation recently with a colleague and I expressed my optimism with them and I was met with the sentiment that being overly optimistic is not realistic and it makes you vulnerable. I think the exact opposite. I think the alternative to optimism is doubt and fear and insecurity. All of which eat away at your own self confidence. Now you can gain confidence from a NUMBER of things and I just want to share what works for me and some things that help ME with my own confidence. This is not a prescriptive, “you should do this” list, but if you lack self-confidence maybe give this a try. Again, this is just what works for me and what I have learned from life.


  1. Accept your shortcomings, focus on your strengths. Everyone has natural ability and talents and everyone has shortcomings and things they are not good at. I say, don’t dwell on those weaknesses, focus on your strengths and improve the things you ARE good at.
  2. Don’t compare yourself to others. It’s really, really difficult not to compare your skills and abilities or your circumstances to others. It’s human nature. It’s unavoidable. What I’m saying is to acknowledge it for what it is and realize that what someone else is maybe weak at you are probably exceptional at. Everyone’s situation is different so don’t waste time going down the negative rabbit hole of comparing yourself to someone else.
  3. Eliminate negativity. It’s so important to have a positive mindset. The alternative is so much worse. You don’t have to be blindly optimistic and think everything is wonderful and become naïve and unrealistic, but realize that if you look for the GOOD you will find it and if you look for the BAD you will also find that.
  4. Gratitude. I think it’s really important to take a step back, look at the big picture and just acknowledge what you’re grateful for. It can always be worse. Life is all about not taking even the most simple moments in life for granted.
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